A woman has revealed how she turned her life around, going from an alcoholic at 23 to singing at the same venue that has seen Oasis, Johnny Cash and Elvis Costello perform.
Hannah Goodson-Cutt – who goes by stage name CUTT – is a 28-year-old pop-rock musician based in Los Angeles who made the decision to get sober five years ago.
She first started drinking when she was in high school and quickly went down a road of self-destruction.
After a suicide attempt that saw her in a coma for six days, Hannah made the decision to turn her life around.
She spoke exclusively with Silver Screen Beat about her struggles with alcohol and her burgeoning music career.
“I was a blackout drinker, and I just didn’t know how to stop. I would promise myself that I would only have a drink or two, and then I would always end up getting wasted and smoking a tonne of menthol cigarettes,” she said.
“I couldn’t keep living that way. I was destroying myself, killing my singing voice, and wasn’t going to have a career
“I was constantly sick and on antibiotics and I couldn’t have a sip without drinking a whole bottle.”
When Hannah was still drinking, her life was filled with parties, clubs and boys.
While she remembers this time of her life as fun, she says in hindsight that the last few months of her drinking were unmanageable.
She revealed: “At one point, I had quit drinking for months, but I had one drink when my friend came to visit, and from there I was drinking every night.
“I was living at the W in Hollywood and would go down to the bar and party with whoever I met there.
“My line was, ‘I’m not a hooker, I am just a drunk’ because I was just making that clear! About three months after that drink I was going through my journal and read the same thing over and over, about how I wasn’t going to get drunk again. I wrote a song called ‘All These Pages’ about it, which is on my album.”
The yo-yoing of drinking and not became the centre of her life, and she decided she was done with these useless negotiations with herself.
She eventually made the decision to go to Alcoholics Anonymous, get a sponsor and finally got sober on July 4, 2016.
Now she says she has a great time without alcohol and can still stay out, dance and talk to people.
“Being sober is a great high and I have come so far. In 2019 I was diagnosed with bipolar, and a year and a half ago I almost died from a suicide attempt,” Hannah explained.
“I was in a coma for six days and was said to be brain dead. But I had a miraculous recovery, and I dove headfirst into my music.
“The struggle is real, and at times it feels like I am inching my way to happiness, but every day I keep moving forward. I throw myself into my art and the things I love.”
Hannah finds writing music exciting and said writing the lyrics is her favourite part of the process.
She continued: “I love writing lyrics because through it I am able to process a lot of emotions that otherwise I would have trouble expressing.
“I will start to write a song with a feeling that I can’t really put a finger on, and after, I’ll be able to make sense of it all. I discover and learn about myself through my songwriting.”
Hannah is the granddaughter of Mark Goodson, the legendary producer behind Family Feud and The Price is Right and the daughter of artist and dancer Marjorie Goodson.
Majorie became a model on the game show Classic Concentration in 1987 and appeared on two episodes of The Price is Right in 1985 and 1997.
“My grandfather died in 1992, when my mother was pregnant with me, so fame really didn’t impact my life too much,” she explained.
“Even though I never met him, my mother talks about him all the time. His spirit is around. We have what we call the Wall of Game which is a hallway with a lot of iconic photographs of his.
“When someone of my mum’s generation discovers who my grandfather is, they usually share stories and memories of his shows! He was actually a poet too, and my mum reads his poems to me. I like to think I get my creativity from him.”
Hannah’s creative work is largely driven by her decision to get sober five years ago.
Now she has managed to completely turn her life around and has since performed at venues like Whisky a Go Go and Troubadour.
She’s also been fortunate enough to sing at Viper Room, which has seen the likes of Leonardo DiCaprio, Jennifer Aniston, and Keanu Reeves walk through its doors – and it used to be partially owned by Johnny Depp.
“Performing there was my absolute first choice! I love the space and the whole vibe. So many great artists have passed through its doors,” she said.
“And my shows had a great turnout. I actually ran into a fan in the line for the bathroom. Turns out he flew in from Vancouver to see me perform which was surreal and pretty cool.
“I have subsequently performed there four times and am looking forward to performing there more.”
She recently released the music video for her singly, Messy, and she’ll be releasing debut EP Nightmares later this year.
Hannah’s experience growing up in a family of creatives – and her struggle with alcoholism – have made her a prolific and honest writer.
Nightmares is a product of her sobriety, and the single, Messy, is an exploration of the demons she dealt with once her addiction was under control, and she was left only with herself. You can find out more at cuttmusic.com.
For emotional support, you can call the Samaritans 24-hour helpline on 116 123, email email@example.com, visit a Samaritans branch in person or go to the Samaritans website.
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